Heels or no heels… That’s the question!
By Performance & Self Esteem Coach Alicia Monedero, Spain
Not long ago, I was talking to a fellow trainer who told me that she couldn’t go into the training room without wearing heels. This was because she didn’t feel confident to deliver her courses without them. It did not come as a surprise to me as I know many other women use specific clothes when they go into important meetings or events. So I wonder how much of this is to do with presentation and how much is to do with the necessity to stay confident in such situations.
A few years ago I sprained my ankle just before a business exhibition and although I always try to be sensible about my footwear when facing full days of walking and standing up, I had no other choice but wear flat shoes. It did not bother me but I am not sure what my fellow trainer would have done in that situation. Heels for example, look and feel great but, do we women rely too much on make-up or clothes to feel confident and maybe subconsciously think that we produce better;results or;feel more attractive? What do you do? Do you care and dress to impress or you’ve passed that point and go for comfort?
If you feel the need to take on a second image, it means that there is something about yourself that you find difficult to accept and perhaps it makes you feel insecure; maybe you decided to create a second persona at some point in your life in order to compensate for something that you think you do not have when you compare yourself to others.
For this reason, many people feel that clothes, make up or jewellery help them to feel better and less inferior. So do we rely too much on these external items when what we really need to do is get rid of the emotional charge that we’ve placed on them? A strong image comes from within, so if you feel good about yourself you will be able to transmit this feeling to others whether you are wearing your best clothes or not.
Here’s a few things to try:
- Take care of yourself and exercise regularly even if it is just 15 minutes everyday; choose an activity that you enjoy; make a list if you are not sure.
- Do fun things that make you feel good and alive; stay positive!
- Do not compare yourself to others; you are unique and have your own special qualities, which make you capable of many things.
- Do not listen to other people’s criticisms or advice too seriously; be objective about what they say; you are the only one that has the right answer for yourself.
- Keep your dreams and goals alive; there is nothing more attractive than someone with a purpose and who feels passionate about it.
About our Author:
Alicia Monedero, The Self-Esteem Coach, lives in Spain and is an accredited coach, Master Practitioner of NLP and Certified Trainer specialized in the fields of Performance and Self-Esteem.
Alicia also holds two degrees in Education and University qualifications in Business Studies with extensive experience in both fields. For more information about creating that strong image within, please visit Alicia’s website: www.the-self-esteem-coach.com. You can use the self survey form provided in total confidence and without obligation.
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